I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
