she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
