she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You made out with two different species that night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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