Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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