you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
