we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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