Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize