Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
