Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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