I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
