His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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