my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
