What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
