Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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