Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and she was petting her beer can
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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