Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
