we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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