Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
