New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
