Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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