Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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