i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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