Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
