Sponge bath it is.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
