my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize