put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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