Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
