Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
