He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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