pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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