where am i from again
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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