I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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