Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
