one two three fourrrrnication!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My vagina is officially offended.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
