I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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