I've blown a few things in my day
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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