You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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