She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
