she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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