so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
