is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
