He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
