apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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