Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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