I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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