I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
