it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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