I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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