i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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