so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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