p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
