god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
