remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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