i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
