babies were throwing up all over the place
now i know why i became what i already was.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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