My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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