He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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