My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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